Kick Mic
Kick Mic
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 Audix D4 Drum Mic Rack Floor Tom Microphone Perfect Flawless  US $81.25
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 CAD Audio PMP65 Cable Professional Microphone US $119.00
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 Shure BETA 52A Kick Drum Mic US $99.00
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 Earthworks KP1 KickPad Mic Level Kick Drum Processor US $60.00
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 MXL A 55 Kicker Dynamic Kick Drum Microphone New US $97.99
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 TC Helicon VoiceTone Correct Vocal Processor Pedal US $86.00
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 BLUE Kickball Drum Mic US $60.00
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 Audix Fusion 4 Cable Professional Microphone US $40.00
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 Digital Reference DR DRM7 7 Pc Drum Mic Set NO RESERVE US $66.00
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 Beyerdynamic drums microphones 3x Opus 88 TG D58c 1x Opus 99 TG D70d US $305.00
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 Shure PG Card Dynamic Kick Drum Mic Microphone PG52 XLR US $134.95
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 JamStands By Ultimate Support Low level boom Microphone Mic Stand JSMCFB50 US $39.95
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 STAGG Drum Mic Microphone Set 7Pc w 2 Clamps and Case kick snare cumbals toms US $309.95
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 Pyle 7 Piece Drum Mic Microphone Kit 4 snare tom 2 overhead 1 kick PDKM7 US $159.95
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 AKG D 112 Kick Drum Microphone US $93.00
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 Samson MB1 Mini Boom Stand NEW US $21.95
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 Ultimate Support JS KD50 Jamstand Kick Drum Guitar Amp Mic Stand US $12.00
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 Blue Mouse Large Diameter Cardioid Condenser Microphone US $1,249.00
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 Condenser Instrument Mic YPA M602 Drum Microphone NEW US $59.99
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 Audix Fusion 6 Pack Drum Microphones w 2 Cymbal Condenser Mics Hard Case US $150.00
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 Shure Beta 52A Supercardioid Dynamic Microphone w Free Mic Cable US $149.00
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 Elation KM 202 1 km 202 true condenser mic MDC Bass drums Kick mic US $669.00
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 CAD KBM 412 Lots Of Boom US $30.00
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 Shure KSM137 SL Cardioid Studio Condenser Microphone Champagne US $229.99
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 Audix F12 Professional Microphone US $20.00
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 Classic Audio Technica AT MB Midnight Blues Drum Mic Microphone 7 Piece Set US $150.00
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 SHURE PG52 PG 52 KICK DRUM MIC W MIC BAG EXCELLENT US $60.00
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 Peavey PVM DMS 5 Drum Mic System US $234.99
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 ACMco Silver Bullet Instrument Mic for Phantom Power FANTASTIC ON GUITAR US $70.00
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 AKG C 4000 B Condenser Cable Professional Microphone US $350.00
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 AKG D 112 Dynamic Cable Professional Microphone US $149.99
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 Samson 5KIT Cable Professional Microphone US $150.00
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 Sterling Audio ST51 Condenser Cable Microphone US $39.95
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 Gear One MK1000 Bass Drum Microphone US $30.00
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 Gently Used Shure PGDMK6 XLR 6 Piece Drum Microphone Kit US $300.00
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 ProLine Desk Boom Mic Stand US $7.51
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 Kick Drum Mic US $10.00
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 DRUM MIC KIT E602 SM57 E604x3 GREAT CONDITION US $449.99
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 CAD M179 Mic Shockmount Cable Filter Case US $199.99
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 Audio Technica DR Drum Digital Reference All Pro Microphone System 3 mic Set US $48.99
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 Peavey PVM 520i Dynamic Microphone Great for Kick Drum or Vocals US $90.00
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 CAD Pro 7 Drum Microphone Pack With Carring Case US $80.00
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 Shure Half Cardioid Condenser Kick Drum Microphone BETA 91A US $81.50
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 HISONICS WHM 306 WIRELESS HANDHELD MICROPHONE SYSTEM COMPLETE W CASE WIRED NR US $9.99
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 Sony sra 3 Tube Mic Microphone and Instrument Pre Amp US $499.00
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 Audix D6 Sub Impulse Kick Drum Mic Excellent Condition Only used Twice US $129.99
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 NEW Drum Microphone set KAM D7 Kit A stock 7 high quality XLR cables US $100.00
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 NEW Drum Microphone set KAM D5 Kit B stock 4 ST2 and 1 BD2 mics US $99.00
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 MXL V67g Studio Vocal Microphone US $49.95
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 Audix DP7 Drum Mic Kit US $880.00
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Gear One MK1000 Kick Drum Mic Black $69.99 The highly affordable MK1000 is a dynamic mic designed for low frequencies. Its supercardioid polar pattern provides maximum isolation onstage for greater gain-before-feedback. Its 30Hz-10kHz frequency response is tailored for kick drum with a slight boost at 80Hz (where kick drum lives) and a presence peak at 3kHz and 9kHz for clear and articulated attack. Max SPL: 146dB |
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Used Shure Beta 52A Kick Drum Mic $171.99 The Shure Beta 52A Kick Drum Mic is a high-output, dynamic microphone with a frequency response tailored specifically for kick drums and other bass instruments. It provides superb attack and punch, and delivers studio-quality sound even at extremely high SPLs. Its modified supercardioid pattern ensures high gain-before-feedback and excellent rejection of unwanted sound.Channel Strips of the Stars: Ronan Chris MurphyWorld-class producer/engineer/mixer Ronan Chris Murphy's credits include King Crimson, Steve Morse, Terry Bozzio, Victor Bisetti, Gregg Bissonette, Tony Levin, and projects with members of Tool, Ministry, Weezer, Dishwalla, and Yes. A huge fan of A Designs Audio, Ronan was kind enough to share some of his drum-recording signal chains: "Well all of the drums for Terry Bozzio's Jazz trio were recorded with all A Designs Audio solid state preamps. For drum overheads I used Shure KSM32 condenser mics (#270141) into a Pacifica (#189903); for kick drums, I prefer the Shure Beta 52. Actually I have used the Shure KSM32 into Pacifica combo on tons of great drummers, including Terry Bozzio, Victor Bisetti (Los Lobos), Gregg Bissonette (Santana, David Lee Roth), and Pat Mastelotto (King Crimson, Mister Mister, The Rembrandts)."Note: for more information about individual units in the signal chain, enter the Item ID# into our search box.Frequency response shaped specifically for kick drums and bass instrumentsBuilt-in dynamic locking stand adapter with integral XLR connector simplifies setup, especially inside a kick drumStudio-quality performance, even at extremely high sound-pressure levelsSupercardioid pattern for high gain-before-feedback and superior rejection of unwanted noiseHardened steel mesh grille resists wear and abuseAdvanced pneumatic shockmount system minimizes transmission of mechanical noise and vibrationNeodymium magnet for high signal-to-noise ratio outputLow sensitivity to varying load impedanceLegendary Shure quality and reliability |
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B-Band UKKO-K Single Kick Drum Contact Mic $99.99 The B-Band UKKO-K kick drum contact mic system is a remarkable way to capture the true tonality of your kick drum consistently, conveniently, and with extreme isolation. This system consists of two important components: the UKKO DMK preamp, built with high-quality class-A electronics, and the UKKO DST1 Contact mic for superb tone. This system will work with any size kick drum, and gives you high-resolution sound, and easy setup!This mic system was designed to be able to blend-in visually with the drum kit. That is why B-Band designed the DMK preamp to be chrome colored to match most drum hardware. It is an extremely lightweight system that does not add any noticeable weight to the drum, or get in the way while performing like most other drum mic systems. It also very robust and durable, and will endure rigorous touring.Setting up and tearing down have never been this easy. The DST1 has an adhesive back that mounts easily and discreetly on the inside of the drum shell near the batter head. The DST1 lead wire is fed through the drum air hole to the DMK preamp. The preamp mounts in the air hole outside of the drum, and was specially designed to not interrupt the flow of air as the drum breathes. Being as the DMK preamp is so small in size, there is no need to remove it to put the drum in its case, leave it on and be ready for the next gig or studio session. To better capture the low frequencies of the kick drum there are two mini switches inside the DMK preamp that contour the sound for a choice of tone. One switch controls a -6dB mid cut at 330 Hz and the other is for a +6dB high boost at 5 kHz.If you have a hole cut on your resonant head or if there is no resonant head on your kick drum, this will make the UKKO-K sound thinner. It is recommended to have a solid resonant head for maximum tonal quality. |
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Nady DMK-5 Drum Mic Package $119.99 The Nady DMK-5 Drum Mic Package includes 4 DM70 tom/snare mics, one DM80 kick drum mic, and a case. DM70s are perfect for miking snares, toms, and percussion with no bleed through from other pieces. With neodymium element for max output and super-high SPL handling capacity. The DM80 is specifically designed for kick drum with extended low-end response. |
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On-Stage Stands MS7311B Kick Drum/Amp Mic Stand $29.99 The heavy-casted tripod base gives this boom microphone stand the stability of a larger stand, yet the shape adds the convenience of being compact. |
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On-Stage Stands Ms7311b Kick Drum/Amp Mic Stand $31.99 The heavy-casted tripod base gives this boom microphone stand the stability of a larger stand, yet the shape adds the convenience of being compact.5/8" end with 27 solid threads and steel counterweight on this 19" boom All-metal boom clutch Heavy-duty sand-cast tripod base adds stability Die-cast steel height adjustment clutch. |
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Gear One Mk1000 Kick Drum Microphone Black $49.99 The highly affordable MK1000 is a dynamic mic designed for low frequencies. Its supercardioid polar pattern provides maximum isolation onstage for greater gain-before-feedback. Its 30Hz-10kHz frequency response is tailored for kick drum with a slight boost at 80Hz (where kick drum lives) and a presence peak at 3kHz and 9kHz for clear and articulated attack. Max SPL: 146dB |
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Nady DMK-7 Drum Mic Package $189.99 The Nady DMK-7 Drum Mic Package includes 4 DM70s, one DM80, and 2 CM88 mics in a fitted case. DM70 mics are perfect for miking snares, toms, and percussion with no bleed-through from other pieces, neodymium element for max output, and super-high SPL handling capacity. The DM80 microphone's specifically designed for kick drum with extended low-end response. The CM88 cymbal mics feature an extremely uniform and tight cardioid polar pattern for easy mixing. |
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Mxl A-55 Kicker Dynamic Kick Drum Microphone Black $99.95 The MXL A-55 Kicker drum mic is a totally killer dynamic mic for kick drums, bass cabinets, congas or any other low-frequency instruments. Built for abuse with durable metal construction, the MXL A-55 microphone captures deep bass and low-end punch and has a clean and clear pick up for fast attacks. This MXL mic will move effortlessly from straight-ahead jazz, to rock, to funk and right back again.Captures deep bass and low end punchDurable metal constructionIdeal for kick drums, bass cabinets, congas and moreIncludes built-in mic clip, carrying pouch and cleaning cloth |
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Audix F6 Kick Drum & Bass Frequencies Microphone $139 The Audix f6 Fusion Series bass frequency microphone is purpose-built for kick drum and other low-frequency instruments, including large toms, and bass cabinets. The Audix f6 drum mic is lightweight, compact, and easy to position. With a wide frequency response of 40Hz-16kHz and the ability to handle sound pressure levels of 140dB, the f6 is an excellent choice for miking instruments requiring extended low frequency reproduction.Featuring the same depth and "no-EQ-necessary" performance as the Audix D6, the f6 boasts a little more midrange punch, also making it suitable for more aggressive styles of music, such as hard rock and punk. Another great benefit of Audix' purpose-built mics is the ease of placementthey sound great no matter where you place them (within reason), so a "walking" kick drum, or active performers bumping the mic is rarely a problem. The Audix f6 has a hypercardioid pickup pattern for isolation and feedback control, and an LM (Low Mass) Type A diaphragm for natural, accurate sound reproduction. It employs a transformerless design for transparent reproduction, while its low-impedance, balanced output provides interference-free performanceeven with long cable runs. It's roadworthy construction includes a precision cast zinc alloy body, black coat finish, laser etched model and serial number, steel mesh grill, gold XLR connector and a tension-fit heavy duty nylon mic clip. User tips:The f6 is designed with low output in order to compensate for instruments having very high sound pressure levels. For kick drums, start with the mic inside the middle of the drum positioned slightly off-center, pointed towards the beater. For more attack, and less bass boom, move the mic closer to the beater. For less attack and more bass, move the mic further away from the beater. For kick drums without hole in front head, place the f6 a few inches from the head for a large dynamic sound. For toms, position the mic 2 inches from the head and point towards the center of the drum. For bass cabinets, position the mic 90 to the grill cloth and 1 - 2 inches inside the edge of the speaker.Compact, lightweightCast zinc-alloy bodyLM (low mass) type A diaphragmStudio-quality soundExcellent mid-bass punchHandles high SPL without distortionGreat for both studio and stage Roadworthy constructionDesigned, assembled, and tested by Audix in the USA. 3-year warranty Applications for stage and studio:Kick drumKettle drumFloor tomBass cabinetsLeslie bottom |
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Audix D6 Kick Drum Microphone With Cable And Stand $229 Includes one Audix D6 Sub Impulse kick microphone, one Gear One 20' mic cable, and one DR Pro DR-256 low-profile tripod mic stand with fixed boom. Audix D6 Sub Impulse Kick Microphone:The Audix D6 Sub Impulse kick microphone is great onstage or in the studio for kick drums, percussion, and bass cabs. The special edition D6 drum mic has a cardioid pickup pattern and a frequency response of 30Hz to 15kHz. Its transformerless design, low impedance, and balanced output allow interference-free performance even with long cable runs. One-piece body precision machined from solid aluminum.Gear One Microphone Cable:For serious-minded musicians, Gear One's XLR cables have the strength and durability to withstand more than everyday use. Since your cable is your sound, this XLR mic cable's superior wiring allows your signal to be quiet, eliminating frustrating hums, buzzing, and crackles.DR Pro DR256:The DR Pro DR256 is a basic low-profile tripod microphone stand with telescoping boom. The boom is 19" and extends to 31". It is height adjustable from 9" to 17". The tripod legs extend to 19" per side.Dedicated to manufacturing premium stands for the professional studio musician, DR Pro gear is sure to deliver superior performance. Their gear is strong, lightweight, and uses a durable powdercoated finish paint, tougher tubing, and precision mechanical parts. Plus, DR's industry-standard designs make it easy to integrate DR mic stands into any studio or stage setting.Audix D6:Designed for low-frequency reproductionOne-piece body precision machined from solid aluminumCardioid pickup patternDynamic transducerFrequency response of 30Hz-15kHz144dB max SPLMusician's Gear MS-220:Thread adapterTubular legAdjustable height from floor to top thread 35" to 61-7/8"Fixed boom: 30-1/4"DR Pro DR256:Built to surpass industry standardsFully adjustable standLightweight construction Powdercoated finishesStronger tubingPrecision machiningHeight adjust: 9"-17" Telescoping boom adj.: 19"-31" |
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Sennheiser Evolution E902 Dynamic Kick Drum Microphone $199.95 Winner of the TEC Award for Outstanding Technical Achievement (2005) and the m.i.p.a award for Best Drum Microphone (2005), the Sennheiser e902 is a dynamic mic designed to reproduce the lowest bass sources and handle extremely high sound pressure levels. It is ideal for kick drums, bass guitar amps, tubas, and any other bass instruments. Exceptionally clean and clear reproduction of the deepest bass signals. Cardioid pickup pattern. Frequency response: 20Hz - 18kHz. Rugged construction for touring stage applications.Frequency response optimized for kick drumVery fast attackExceptionally clean and clear reproduction of the deepest bass signalsIntegral stand mountHum-compensating coilShock-mounted capsuleRugged metal body |
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MXL A-55 Kicker Dynamic Kick Drum Microphone Black $99.95 The MXL A-55 Kicker drum mic is a totally killer dynamic mic for kick drums, bass cabinets, congas or any other low-frequency instruments. Built for abuse with durable metal construction, the MXL A-55 microphone captures deep bass and low-end punch and has a clean and clear pick up for fast attacks. This MXL mic will move effortlessly from straight-ahead jazz, to rock, to funk and right back again. |
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Nady DM-90 Dynamic Kick Drum Microphone $39.99 The Nady DM-90 Dynamic Kick Drum Microphone was specially designed for the most accurate reproduction of extended low-frequency instruments and amps. The Nady DM-90 mic features a dynamic element and large diaphragm for capturing the attack, punch, and high SPL of bass drums. Supercardioid pattern for ultimate feedback rejection, and a rugged die-cast body with internal shockmount and hardened steel grille. |
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Blue Drum Mic Kit $2747 Inspired by some of the most important recordings in music history, Blue Microphones has created the Blue Drum Kit Kit for an easy solution to replicate the fabled '3-mic' drum miking technique that professional engineers have used for years. The Blue Drum Kit Kit consists of the award-winning Mouse and a stereo matched pair of Dragonfly microphones. These three microphones complete the sonic spectrum needed in producing a full-bodied, live recording session for the most discerning drummer and engineer.Mouse MicrophoneThe Mouse's hand-tuned capsule is specifically designed to capture the thundering lows of bass and baritone vocals and low-end instrument sources. Enclosed within a rotating spherical grille, the capsule can also be positioned and adjusted into the smallest of spaces for applications where versatility is paramount. The Mouse is perfectly suited for kick drums, acoustic bass, electric bass amplifiers, snare drums, broadcast and voiceover work, and any other sources where accurate reproduction of low frequency transients is paramount.Dragonfly MicrophonesThe Dragonfly generates a silky extended top-end, contoured midrange and a bump at the upper end of the lower frequencies that thickens thin signal sources. With an integrated elastic shockmount and rotating head, the Dragonfly utilizes its innovative industrial design to enable quick and precise mic placement on the fly. The Dragonfly is ideally suited for high-frequency sources like alto and soprano vocals, percussion, electric guitar, drum overheads, and "difficult" sources such as stringed instruments.All three mics and their schockmounts come in a protective metal case with a plush interior that had cutouts to keep your mics safe between uses. |
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Ultimate Support 17231 Microphone Stand List Price: $49.95 Sale Price: $21.26  |
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15 3/4'' boom with reliable tightening knob.. Heavy-duty low-level weighted base stand with boom . Scratch-resistant powder-coated finish. Easily adjust stand height with reliable turn clutch |
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Samson Audio MB1 Mini Boom Microphone Stand List Price: $94.99 Sale Price: $23.95 Used From: $21.56 |
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The ideal low profile boom stand for miking drums, speakers and anything close to the floor. Features die-cast and steel construction. Mic clip included. |
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On Stage DS7200B Adjustable Desk Microphone Stand, Black List Price: $19.80 Sale Price: $8.80 Used From: $10.76 |
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The On Stage DS7200 is perfect for podcast mics and lots of other applications. The DS7200 is an upgrade to the standard desk stand with an adjustable-height shaft, and a die-cast steel clutch. Height is adjustable from 9... |
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Brand New Audio Technica Drum-microphone Kit with 3 Snare/tom Mics and 1 Kick Mic Sale Price: $109.95 |
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Brand new Audio Technica Drum-Microphone kit with 3 snare/tom mics and 1 kick mic Tailored for snare, rack toms and other highly dynamic instruments, the MB 5k snare/tom microphone offers a moving coil dynamic design with cardioid polar pattern, delivering superior off-axis rejection for maximum gain before feedback... |
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On Stage MS7920B Amp and Bass Drum Short Microphone Stand List Price: $45.99 Sale Price: $23.04 Used From: $22.85 |
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The On Stage MS7920B features a U shape base instead of the heavy tripod design. Great for kick drums or amplifiers. Height Adjustment: 8-14 Boom Length: 16 Base Spread: 4.5- 7.5 |
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Audix D6 Sub Impulse Kick Drum Mic Sale Price: $194.82 |
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Designed for kick drums and other low-frequency instruments! The D6 is an American-made instrument microphone designed for live and studio performance. Characterized with a cardioid pick-up pattern and a frequency response of 30Hz-15kHz, the D6 instrument mic is an ideal choice for kick drum, bass cabs, and other instruments requiring low frequency reproduction... |
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JamStands Low-Profile Microphone Boom Stand List Price: $40.99 Sale Price: Too low to display |
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Heavy-duty, low-level performance stand for every-day use. 19.75-inch boom with reliable tightening knob. Strong, die-cast leg housing. Scratch-resistant, powder-coated finish. |
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Durable Protective Two Tone Rubberized Crystal Hard Case Cover with Stand Alone Kickstand for Apple iPod Touch 4th Generation (8GB 16GB 32GB), Black List Price: $25.99 Sale Price: $3.31 |
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This elegant and stylish case has been Manufactured to fit your Apple iPod Touch 4. The center of this case has been made of a semi hard plastic material to protect your iPod Touch from any unnecessary bumps, dents, and scratches... |
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On-Stage Stands MS7311B Kick Drum/Amp Mic Stand List Price: $50.99 Sale Price: $29.99 Used From: $23.07 |
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Die-cast base, 17 Boom, Mid-point clutch, Height adjustable, Black finish. |
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ProLine MS112 Desk Boom Mic Stand List Price: $43.49 Sale Price: $30.49 |
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The MS112 desktop boom mic stand from ProLine safely and securely maintains the position you set for your microphone so you can capture the perfect sound. The low-profile boom stand is perfect for micing kick drums, amplifiers, etc... |
Comedian Tells What It's Like to Perform in a War Zone
Comedian Don Barnhart tells what it takes to make the soldiers laugh in a dangerous setting like a war zone.
My name is Don Barnhart and I am a professional stand up comedian. What do I mean by ‘professional’? Well, what I mean is that I have been fortunate enough to make a comfortable living travelling the world making people laugh which should answer the follow up question that yes, I actually am very funny. I’ve been on a few TV shows and appeared in some movies. If you’re a rabid fan of comedy, you might recognize me as I tour over 250 days a year but I’m not quite up there in the celebrity status the likes of Jim Carrey, Robin Williams or Jerry Seinfeld but I’m right behind them.
Since 1992, I have also tried to spend several weeks a year entertaining the military troops stationed overseas. I’ve done this during peacetime and during times of war and everywhere I go people ask what it’s like to perform in a dangerous setting like Afghanistan or Iraq so here is my story.
First and foremost, I consider it an honour and privilege to be asked to come over and entertain the troops. As I said before, I’m extremely fortunate to able to make a living doing what I love and I feel we all have an obligation as an American citizen to support our troops in the best way we know how even if you object to the war itself.
The reason I started doing ‘my part’ is that it’s part of my work-release program and I only have 30 more hours of community service then I’m done! (Just kidding, that was a joke.) Seriously, the men and women in the military defend America and all of her Freedoms and I’m able to make a great living using those Freedoms. I also feel it’s important to support the troops in any way you know how. If I knew how to bake cookies, I would do that and send over a care package but I’m much better at telling jokes so I go there and entertain, shake hands and thank the men and women who serve our country. It’s both emotionally and physically tough but there is such an immense sense of pride I feel when I get to do my part and be part of the team. But honestly, I kinda feel like I’m the least significant person out there. I kinda feel like the water boy on the super bowl team.
The whole reason I started doing military shows goes back to mid, 1992. I went through a bitter divorce after I found out my wife was ‘dating again’. (A joke but not really a joke) I took off to Europe to find myself (actually to get as far away as possible from everyone I knew or that knew me and my ‘situation’). Anyway, while I was doing shows throughout Sweden I found myself sitting in a cold, dark and gloomy smoke filled café feeling sorry for myself and I looked out the window and noticed a sign for the USO. I finished my cappuccino and trudged across the snow-lined street and went in. I starting asking if they would be interested in a comedy show as I had a whole lot of free time and nothing to do so they gave me the main info and I sent in my demo and next thing I know, I’m on a plane heading to war torn Bosnia with the Gin Blossoms and 49 Cheerleaders.
Each show is different and it really depends on who’s booking it and for the bigger shows with celebrities and bands they need a lot of lead-time. For them, it’s a much bigger production and the logistics are a nightmare as they have sound equipment, staff, costumes, gear and who knows what else. For one celebrity, the tour never manifested, as she wanted a four-star hotel and limo for her Afghanistan concert. She didn’t get it. We’re there on a military base in the middle of a war and not on the beach on the French Rivera. Anyway, she went in to rehab the following month so she never did make the tour.
For groups like Comics On Duty who specialize in just comedy shows, it’s much easier and we can be prepared to go at the drop of a hat but on the average a few months lead time is the best. With comedy, it’s much easier to change venues, add shows and adjust to the constantly changing conditions on the ground. When it is just comedians, we try to add shows whenever we can on a tour and we try and get out to the troops that really need it the most. We’ve added shows in hangers with no sound gear, on flight decks, flat beds, in front of a land-mine field. It all pretty non-glamorous.
Performing for the troops is different than performing at a regular comedy club in the states and once you’ve done a few tours, you are bonded with the soldiers and there truly is certain sense of camaraderie and understanding. Underlying the shows is an awareness that at any second, we might have to scramble and be caught in a firefight. We might have to run for cover or return fire. So even though I’m in the middle of a joke, my senses are on full alert. Once when I was in the middle of show I heard a huge explosion just outside and I dropped to the floor for cover and the crowd roared with laughter, as this was a ‘normal’ sound to them. I just about wet my pants but I was now part of the team. I’m there to get laughs whether it’s something I say or something I did, I’m there to entertain. I don’t flinch as much but I’m still fully aware to all the external sounds and surroundings when I’m performing over there.
The reason we come over is to entertain and show our support and to let them know how much we care about them and the job they are doing…how much we respect them and I think they have a certain respect for us coming over there. We’re all in it together as we eat the same food and have to deal with the same amenities. If there’s no hot water, then there is no hot water for everybody and sometimes it’s MREs (Meals Ready To Eat) for weeks at a time.
The troops are so accommodating to us and go out of their way to make us feel at home. We were doing shows in the Persian Gulf and getting choppered from ship to ship and a really bad storm came up and they were going to cancel a show because if we flew in, we would have to overnight on the ship but there was no place to put us up and the guys on the ship offered to give us there cots and they would sleep on the floor just so their ship wouldn’t miss getting some entertainment.
The real difference between a so-called ‘regular’ audience and performing for the troops is that by far, the troops are the best audiences ever. There really is no comparison. These men and women are putting their lives on the line each and every day and they don’t have time to laugh if it isn’t funny. They’re honest in what they like and don’t like and that makes you a sharper comic. In the states, people can go out on a date have dinner and a few drinks and if you don’t like the show, you can always leave and go do something else. When you’re entertaining the troops, the show may be the only new thing they get for months at a time so you have to bring your ‘A’ game and be on top of it. That’s why it so important to bring the best headlining comics and not a bunch of amateurs over here. To give the troops an inferior product really makes my blood boil. There are several agencies that are booking comedy shows, pocketing the money then sending really unprofessional and amateur shows over here. That’s why I started booking my own shows and tours. The comics I use are all headlining comics that you’ll see at the top comedy clubs in the nation and on TV. You won’t see them at an open mic night. You also have to be a headlining act to do well over here as you might have to switch up your act based on the logics and sensitivities of what’s going on that day…or you might have to follow a celebrity act Kid Rock or Tim Allen. After doing so many tours, I also created and host a new TV show called, The Freedom of Speech Comedy Series featuring all the great comics that have come over to do military shows. It’s ironic; when you say Freedom of Speech everything automatically thinks it’s a dirty show. Freedom of Speech also means the freedom of thought and the concept of the show is that we let the comics loose to do whatever they want. Some might be a bit dirty, some political but the goal is it has to be funny. The website for the show is www.thechucklehut.com
At first, I really didn’t understand the direct and positive impact doing shows for the troops had on their morale. It’s the greatest feeling after a show when everyone is coming up to thank us for entertaining them. We are there doing our shows to show our gratitude to them! At the end of one show, the colonel brought all the comics up on stage to present us with a certificate of appreciation and their coin and all the men and women stood up and saluted us in thanks. It literally brought all four comics to tears. We couldn’t believe how grateful these young men and women were to us for coming over while we were there to show our thanks to them. It’s why I keep doing these tours over and over again.
The comedy shows are something to talk about, it breaks up the routine and monotony and laughter truly is the best medicine. Remember, some of these men and women over here haven’t been home in a long time and we’re the closest things to being home as we do get to leave. I truly feel that these men and women are my family and my job is to make them laugh and forget their troubles, sorrows and hardships for a little while. I’ve seen the toughest looking soldier laugh so hard he had tears rolling down his checks and after the show, everyone said that guy never even smiles. He came up after the show and gave me a bear hug that almost broke my rib cage but it was great to see him laughing.
Let’s face it. It’s not always easy being away from your family and friends in a war zone. We all know the dangers and possibilities. It’s sort of an unspoken truth but it also creates and underlying tension and some people have a hard time dealing with it. On one recent tour, we had a chaplain travel with us and he sat in the front row every show. It was a bit unsettling at first but then he explained that if the soldiers could see him laughing at even some of the questionable material that maybe he was approachable to their needs and problems and that he was just a regular guy. It was great because we included him in the show and pointed him out, teased him a bit but letting everyone know him by face. Sure enough, several days after I got back I received a letter from him telling us what a difference it made and that it really opened up a dialogue of communication for him and some of the soldiers. We’re all a part of the same team.
You might think it’s difficult to get laughter from soldiers that are face with war, destruction and horrific conditions but it’s not. As long as you’re funny! Comedy has always been a pressure relief valve and it lets the tension out before you snap. The more uncomfortable the situation, the more tension there is and the more you need to release that tension before something breaks. We’ve all been in those really high-pressure situations. Even as a child when your parents told you to go to bed and keep quite or you’ll be in trouble and then you can’t contain your own laughter. Or on your wedding day when you’re about to take your vows and then start crackin’ up. My wife and I both started giggling but that also brought us closer together. As for entertaining the troops, there is no room for mediocre comics at this point. It is a tense situation and I’ve seen really bad comics loose the crowd. This is why you have to be so picky when putting a show together. We’re grunting it out just like the troops so you can’t have any prima-dona entertainers running around crying because they couldn’t get their eight hours of sleep and mid-day brunch.
Being funny in an environment that represents the ravages of destruction can be a bit intimidating at first. I was planning on wearing Depends the first time I came over. Seriously though, at first it’s truly rattling and unsettling but the soldiers go so far out of their way to make you feel at home and after a short while it’s time to ‘step up’. If they can be here and live under these difficult conditions, then so can I. Although, it’s not for everybody. It takes a strong person to be here both as a soldier and a comedian. There is a lot of pressure but that’s why it’s so important to be the best at what you do. It’s pretty nerve racking to hear explosions going off when your trying to deliver your punchline or have sirens whaling and planes taking off but you sort of get used to it. It sure makes going back to the states and auditioning for some big agent a lot easier. The last audition I had, they commented that I seemed so relaxed and unlike all the other actors. I told them I just got back from Afghanistan where mortars were going off and there was a missile attack during the middle of my show…and no, they weren’t shooting at me because of my act. (laughing)
For the most part, there really isn’t any way to research the idiosyncrasies associated with doing shows in ‘the field’. It’s sort of a trial by fire and it’s hard to explain it to a new comic, as you really just have to do it to understand. You just immerse yourself into it and figure it out. The variables are always changing and the only thing you can count on is something is always changing so you have to really be able to roll with it. Sometimes there’s no sound gear or lights, sometimes the audience is standing in 120 degree heat with the sun in their eyes and they can’t even see you, sometimes you’re wearing your flac jacket and helmet, sometimes you doing a show in a tent for 6 guys that look like they haven’t seen a shower or razor or fresh meat in months…it’s just really such a unique experience that you have to see it for yourself. Every tour that I’ve done there is always something memorable. Even the comics that have toured overseas have a bond with each other. Oh, you’ve been to Afghanistan or Iraq, UAE, Dubai or Saudi? There is a certain amount of respect we give each other for doing these tours as well. At the end of the day, we’re just a bunch of goofballs who are fortunate to make a living telling jokes but there is a respect among those of us who choose to do these shows.
It’s important to be able to edit on the fly and tailor your act to fit your surroundings. The military are not allowed to discuss certain topics and it’s important to know how far you can take a joke. We’ve done shows all around the world and each location is different. The irony here is that America is based on Freedom but with Freedom comes a huge amount of responsibility. You can talk about anything you want but if you cross the line, you will certainly lose the crowd so you better know what you’re doing. With this in mind, we have to take in consideration that we are invited guests in many countries that are very different than what we are used to and it’s important to remember that as a guest, we need to respect the cultural differences and traditions of our host nations.
It’s also important to be very aware of what conflicts are going on within the soldier’s lives as well. Almost any topic is open but with anything tragic, a certain amount of time must pass to be able to ‘find the funny’ in something. If something has just happened, it’s probably not wise to try and joke about it until some time has passed. It might be too raw. Often times we get local dignitaries coming to the shows to see what comedy really is. I think that’s great because so many people are not allowed to speak up and be critical of their government where in America you can talk about our political leaders and make fun of them. However, if it’s not funny, yikes! The crowd will turn on you. My rule is, as a guest, you don’t go to someone’s home and start breaking dishes and kicking their pets and the same is true with comedy. Know your crowd and be respectful while still pushing the boundaries.
Most of my topics are about my everyday life and I bring a lot of my military tour’s experiences into the show, as there’s a common bond. You also have to read the crowd. Are they young or old, are they the dignitaries or higher ups and you have to call your show as it’s going on. I’m constantly editing in my head. Did this joke work? If it did, I’ll go to this bit or if it didn’t I’ll switch it up. That’s where an amateur will get into trouble as he/she only has a small amount of material and they’re going to do it whether the crowd likes it or not. That’s why it’s so important to get rid of these smaller agencies that are sending what I like to call comedy rejects over here. They get a contract and then pay some lame ass comic that can’t get work in the states a few bucks and the agent pockets the rest. It’s comedic profiteering and it really makes my blood boil.
My material comes out of my life so it’s not uncommon for my field experiences to become a part of my regular show. Crowds at home really want to know what’s going on outside what they see on the news. People come up after every show and want to know all about my tours. They ask how the troops are and what’s it like over there? They are really concerned and interested in how our soldiers are doing. I kinda feel like the middleman exchanging pleasantries back and forth.
The logistics of actually getting overseas ranges from the simple to the most complex.
For most tours, we fly the main leg of the trip commercial then it’s time to ‘soldier up’. On one trip, our commercial flight had problems and we got diverted to Russia but we couldn’t leave the airport for almost twenty-four hours till another plane was ready. We all felt like Tom Hanks in that movie where he’s stranded at the airport. Once we are ‘in country’, we are pretty much considered in the military and get to ride like the troops but if there is an emergency, then all personnel and equipment are diverted and we sit on the sidelines till all is secure. We do get a security briefing, which is much more than a handshake and bottle of water. They want us to be as prepared as they are in the event of an emergency and depending on the venue the amount of briefing varies. Let’s just say, we’re trained and ready for combat should the need arise. I truly have never felt safer than when I am with the troops. We’ve done so many odd venues. We did a show if front of a land mine field, Saddam’s palace, and a coliseum in Greece, on a flatbed, in the mud and in the rain. The great thing about comedy shows is that we can go almost anywhere unlike a band or another type of group that need instruments, sound gear, lights and more than a few people to pull it off. I was on one tour that was under lockdown so the band couldn’t perform with all their lights and sound so we just did a makeshift show in the dark telling jokes to the soldiers. With comedy, we can adjust to just about any situation. We don’t need a sound check, just turn on the mic and let’s go and if we don’t have a mic, then we do it the old fashioned way and project to the back of the room.
As for the unpleasantries of war, I have seen more than I would have ever wanted to that’s for sure but it’s not nearly as much as the men and women serving our country. It’s not something that I, or most soldiers care to discuss or share. If you’ve been there, you know and if you haven’t then it’s probably best not to ask someone who has been there what they’ve seen. War is hell and the details can lead to judgement. It’s hard enough returning home without reliving the horrors. There is a common sense of what you should and shouldn’t do or talk about We are all a part of the same team so it’s important to know your boundaries. Obviously, you wouldn’t want to pull a “Heraldo” by going on the news, draw a map and say, “Look everyone, I’m right here and we’re sneaking up on the bad guys”.
With that in mind, the first time I went overseas was to Bosnia during some very tough political times. We were on alert from snipers 24/7. Much like Hilary but without the publicity. It really showed me the good and bad side of doing these tours and confirmed for me how important these shows are to the men and women serving our country. When you’re under fire, the mundane annoyance of everyday life really doesn’t matter, as you truly have to live in and for the moment. This is why the troops really get a kick out of the comedy shows. There is not much laughter and enjoyment in their life during an active war so they cherish what little they have.
Since then, I’ve tried to do several tours each year. Some years, I’ve done seven or eight tours and each one is usually two to three weeks at a time. One recent tour was thirty days in Afghanistan. Kinda sounds like the title of a movie or really bad nightmare. Because of the war, the last few years the tour have been mostly Southwest Asia: Afghanistan, Saudi, Egypt, Israel, Abu Dubai, Saudi Arabia, UAE, Bahrain, Jordan but I’ve also done all of Europe, Japan, Iceland, Greenland, Korea, Micronesia…basically, if there are American troops somewhere, I’ve been there. At first my wife wasn’t always thrilled that I’m heading out to a war zone to tell jokes but she understands and supports me when I do go and wants to do her part as well. We have several pending tours coming up again throughout the year and she is going to go out on one with me. She recently starred in the movie thriller China Dolls that I wrote and directed and she (Linda Vu) will go out and host the shows and do a meet and greet autograph session afterwards. My website has my current schedule and I always try and blog, post pictures of my tours to keep it current. www.donbarnhart.com
Both my brother and brother-in-law served and my dad was in the reserves so I feel like the military is a big part of my family. When I do a meet and greet after the show, I always try and find out what the soldiers want to talk about and what’s on their mind. Every once in awhile, you meet someone who really needs a friend. Sometimes they need to talk and sometimes they just want to be entertained or reminded of home.
People always ask me to describe my act or to tell them a joke. My act is story driven by punch lines. Like before I left to go overseas, I had to get vaccinated and they gave me a shot for Anthrax. Now I can eat worry free at any Taco Bell for the next twenty years… I grew up in Los Angeles and got fed up with the fake people and pretentious attitude so I moved to Las Vegas. We were poor growing up and I’m finally glad my mom turned sixty-five because she’s been using a fake id to get the senior citizen’s discount for years.
One of the greatest thrills is getting feedback from the soldiers. It’s great to take pictures and do handshakes after the shows. And now with the Internet, Facebook and Myspace, many of the soldiers I meet send me pictures and emails to stay in touch. I’ve made so many great friends with the soldiers and I still tour throughout the states and it’s so cool when a guy or girl comes up and says that they saw me overseas. It means they made it home and that brings a smile to my face.
You don’t really spend too much time thinking about the security issues or threats. We get fully briefed so I feel we are ready for whatever comes our way. I try and stay focused on giving the best show I can no matter the conditions. Remember, we get to go home in a week or two so no matter how tough we have it as entertainers, the troops have it even tougher and we are here for them. There’s a great saying, if you’re looking at the obstacles, your not focused on your goal. The soldiers make it safe for us to do our jobs.
There really have never been any harrowing experiences or close calls unless getting shot at and having missiles flying all around you is frightening. I do have some horror stories but it’s not something I choose to focus on. I try and find the funny in it if I can, that’s part of being a comic. There was this one time though. I guess my worst experience while entertaining overseas was eating some unwashed fruit in Turkey. We had just started the tour and I couldn’t stand for more than a few minutes without having to run to the bathroom but as they say, the show must go on. We had 3 comics on that tour and I told them to just be ready, as I would do as much time as I could then run off the stage and launch my own weapon of mass destruction. There was this foul cloud following me around. I felt like Peg Pen from the Peanuts cartoon. Anyway, after a few of my sprints, the crowd actually got into it and it became a part of the show. They were actually timing me as to how long I could stay before sprinting to the bathroom again. Let me tell you, I’m a pretty physical comic with lots of facial expressions and body movement and it’s not easy trying to be funny and squeezing your glutes at the same time.
Once we get on site, we try and work out and stay as fit as possible as these tour are really gruelling. We might travel 24 hours then have to do a show right away and we want to give our best so being out of shape doesn’t help. We usually do what the troops do. If they have volleyball, then we’re out there sweating it up or if it’s movie night, then we chill out an hang with them.
Each tour is different. If it’s a bigger base, we might be there for several days then branch out from there to do satellite shows to the smaller bases or just pop from on location to the next. It’s all based off of what is actually going on that day and whether there is an active battle or security threat. That’s what is so great about producing a comedy show as we can we go to a different base and then circle back later with little set up time unlike a band or bigger production style show.
My career sort of charted itself. I grew up the son of television director Don Lewis Barnhart who directed Mork & Mindy and Saved by The Bell. Hanging out on the sets of Los Angeles, I got the desire for doing comedy by hanging out and getting encouragement from Robin Williams and Jonathan Winters. I then got a job at the prestigious Comedy & Magic Club in Hermosa Beach, CA where I became the house emcee, talent coordinator and manger at the age of 20 and got to work with and open up for Jay Leno, Jerry Seinfeld, Tim Allen, Robin Williams, David Spade, Jim Carrey, George Lopez, Harry Anderson and many more of the top comedy superstars working today.
Ironically, comedy wasn’t my first choice. When I was 18, I was living in Hermosa Beach, CA surfing a lot doing nothing much with my life and I went to join the service and the recruiting office was closed. Turns out it was Memorial Day and I was pulling a Jeff Spicolli. Anyway, on the way home I saw a help wanted sign at a comedy club and went in and got hired as a doorman. I only worked one night a week so I would go in and help out, bussing tables, video taping the acts and just being there all the time so I could watch the greats and then one night the emcee got sick I went on and later when I started doing comedy full time I promised myself that if I ever made a living doing stand up I would do something to support our troops. If it weren’t for comedy, I’d be scrubbing the deck on an aircraft carrier or something.
With encouragement from the other comics, I left the security of the club to pursue his own dream and I haven’t looked back and I average over 250 days a year performing on the road. I was just nominated Best Comedian in Las Vegas and I’m the Creator and Host of The Freedom of Speech Comedy Show. I am the writer, director and star of the indie film, China Dolls, and just finished writing and will star in the upcoming comedy film, Freeloader. In 2007, I was the grand prize winner of the short lived American Idol Comedy Contest and I’ve been fortunate to appear on every major comedy show from NBC to Comedy Central and MTV and I’m a regular on The Bob & Tom Show, XM and Sirius Satellite Radio.
My wife and I formed Don Barnhart Entertainment specializing in independent TV/film productions and we have one of the premier booking agencies for comedy shows for the military, colleges and corporate events and I’m a consultant to the top comedy clubs across the country.
If you would like more information about myself or to book a comedy show, please check out our website for more information.
www.thechucklehut.com
About the Author
Award winning comedian, actor, writer and filmmaker